Thursday, June 20, 2013

Can you hear wedding bells?

I do...
Looks like my Fiance and I are getting married a lot sooner then we expected!
It's so crazy that this is happening so soon.
I did not expect for him to go into the Navy so soon.
But its happening and I could not be more happier to marry my best friend.
He is truly my rock.
I don't understand how some women can want to only marry their men for benefits?
And if they cant they don't want to marry them.
It's so crazy.
I could care less if we were poor on the streets I would still marry Allen.
I think we will Marry in the court until he gets out of boot camp.
Then we will have a good size wedding with our friends and family.
I love the colors turquoise with white or black.
Most likely they will be my wedding colors.
Or go for a more modern wedding with black and white.
We will see.
I will most likely start doing blogs on wedding ideas I love and things I would like to see happen
at my wedding.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Del mar fair.

Mason's second year at the Delmar fair!
He had a blast!
He went on his first ride and he laughed the whole time!
I'm so happy to be able to enjoy these little moments with him.
I remember growing up and going every year.
Del mar was my favorite thing to do in the summer!
Now I have it to pass the fun and excitement down to my son.

Australian battered potatoes with ranch and bacon.
My fiancĂ© has  been craving this sense last year!
He finally got his wish answered :)

The boys on Mason's first ride!
They had a cool butterfly exhibit.
You pay a $1 for a Q-tip and dip it in nectar and the butterflies latch on.
I don't know if its just Allen and I but these butterflies were really weird like they could barely fly they looked as if they were high or something.
We felt so bad when we noticed it we had to leave.
They had this collection of dead butterflies.
It's sad what people would do for a buck.
I wonder why all the butterflies looked so sick.

On a lighter note Mason got to see real elephants.
This is a fake photo prop but the ride is behind it.

The weirdest llama I have ever seen!
I've never seen a llama with fur like the spotted one!
I'm sure it's just shaved that way but still!
Kind of reminds me of something in a Dr. sues story.
I have a lot of more photos on my computer but I'm honestly so tired from today.
Maybe tomorrow if I get a chance I will upload more?
Or maybe not.
We will see.
Goodnight everyone !
And good morning to those just waking up .


Tomorrow is the second time I have to go threw this.
The prep for my hsg test is not my favorite thing.
 I just need to remember that its all going to be worth it.
All this time I've been waiting for answers could this be it?
I have no idea why I feel so strongly needing another baby.
I miss everything.
I just want Mason to have what I only wished for.
Siblings .
I didn't get siblings until I was 10 and it was a major age gap.
Thankfully my step sister was 2-3 years younger then me?
It wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was the closes thing I had.
I loved every minute of it.
Sadly it all ended to soon.
My dad and my stepmom broke up.
Very nasty .
It effected everyone.
But I think I'm the main one suffering.
I haven't seen my brother and sister in almost 3 years.
I'm lucky if I get to talk to them.
Now my father has this crazy girlfriend who has kids but did not raise them.
She has nannies do the job.
She and my father left to vegas 2 years ago and they have yet to meet my son.
I don't want my son to have so many let downs like I did when growing up.
I want to have a big family.
I will do what ever I have to, to have another child.
I just wish it was as easy as it seemed.
Growing up they always warned girls that they get pregnant so easy.
It happens just once.
Now where the hell is that now?
My whole life I was told that getting pregnant was so easy.
That just one slip up and I would become pregnant!
But now that I'm wanting another baby I cant get pregnant!!!
I've tried the break period not trying .
STILL nothing!
I don't understand how some people who don't deserve to have kids have so many!
I'm not saying that people with kids don't deserve them but I mean people who have kids and abuse them.
Leave them to raise them selves.
Have 6 of them but none of them are with them.
I understand we are all not perfect and we all have our reasons.
But what is my problem?
Why is my body doing this to me?
I see everyone else becoming pregnant and having babies and I'm just stuck here.
I cry a lot.
I cry almost every time I see someone complain about becoming pregnant and how much it sucks and how they are only 3 months pregnant but already over it!
If only they knew the other side.
How women who cant have babies feel.
We would take that any day!
Or how about those people who tell you "maybe its not your time"
"Maybe its a sign"
How the hell is my ovaries not doing its job a sign??
You think me not having a baby when we are more then ready is a sign?
Some people just don't understand.
Some people take it for granite.
I just hope my time comes soon.
That's my main goal right now is to become pregnant.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Wanted to share!


For families who lost their little ones.
I've lost 3 babies in less then a year.
I would never put that pain on anyone!
Here is somewhere for great support and love.